“Last year I abstained
this year I devour
without guilt
which is also an art”
― Margaret Atwood
I have always loved this time of year. The concept of a fresh start is so appealing to me – a blank page, a clean slate, a chance to start over. I love making resolutions and setting goals, but for years my goals were focused on restriction and self-deprivation. Eat less sugar, drink less caffeine, weigh less. I think we are all under the impression, at some point in our lives, that somehow this “less” will lead us to a life with “more.” It should come as no surprise that by setting restrictive goals, I almost always failed. It wasn’t until a year or two ago when I heard a friend say they were making New Year’s resolutions focusing on adding more to their life (I think one of their goals was to try more types of rosé — a very admirable goal, in my opinion) that my view on resolutions shifted. I created my own list of resolutions that year that focused on adding things to my life instead of taking things away, and I’ve continued with that tradition ever since.
Each year around January 1st, I take stock of my life. I gather up a list of everything that makes my life feel full and brings me joy, and ask myself “how can I have even more of that?” Here are the ways I’m resolving to cultivate a life of intention, indulgence, and authenticity in 2023:
-Learn more languages. I have been re-learning Spanish and French on Duolingo for a few years now (let me take a moment to brag about my 607 day streak, I’m quite proud). I’ve dabbled in Swedish and Dutch along the way, and this year I’m planning to add German to my repertoire. My goal has never been to become fluent — although that would be a bonus — but rather simply to learn. It’s exciting to hear a song in Spanish and understand a line here or there, or to realize you already know a few words in one language because they’re similar to another. Learning other languages opens the door for even more human connections and enriching opportunities to experience the world.
-Listen to more music and watch more films and television shows in foreign languages. This intention goes along with the previous, in that I find other languages so beautiful that it seems silly to me to only experience other mediums in English. Some of the best films and television shows I’ve ever seen have been in another language (The Worst Person in the World, Madre solo hay dos, and Crash Landing on You, to name a few). If you have recommendations for foreign language films, television shows, or music, please share.
-Attend more live cultural events. Ballets, plays, musicals, art exhibits, I love them all. There is just something so electric about being in a room full of people all sharing in the same enriching experience. Last year, I attended Colorado Ballet’s performances of Romeo & Juliet and The Nutcracker and viewed the Saints, Sinners, Lovers, and Fools exhibition of Flemish art at the Denver Art Museum. I went to book events for authors like Casey McQuiston, Jules Ohman, and Jake Maia Arlow. Each of these experiences left me feeling elevated and inspired.
-Read more books. Anyone who knows me knows reading is my one true love. I have always been a literary nerd, and last year I even started an entire Instagram account dedicated to reading and reviewing books. While I try not to get too caught up in the numbers, I do love setting a reading goal each year (this year it’s 50). This year in particular I am aiming to read more classic literature, but will of course continue to devour my favorite genres of literary fiction and LGBTQ+ fiction.
-Try more new and creative hobbies. Pottery classes, knitting, and rock climbing have been some of my favorite hobbies I’ve picked up over the years. The sense of accomplishment that comes from making or doing something with your own two hands is unmatched. This year I would like to get back into pottery, take a cooking class, and possibly pick up tennis or figure skating after a decades-long hiatus.
-Cook and bake more from cookbooks and recipe cards. There is something so inherently gentle and comforting about creating a meal for yourself. Chopping, sautéing, glazing, and plating a meal to perfection are all acts of self-love. While sometimes I will create concoctions on the fly or from a Pinterest recipe, I have found that I feel much more connected to the food I’m making when I’m turning the pages of a cookbook or flipping over a recipe card. Something about the physical experience of it feels much more immersive and grounding. For Christmas this year I received a copy of Dessert Person by the queen of baking herself, Claire Saffitz, and I’ve already bookmarked pages of delicious cakes and pastries I plan to make this year.
This list is not a hard and fast guide for 2023, but rather an idea of ways I can continue to indulge in and experience the things that bring me joy and fulfillment. The promise of a new year is exhilarating, but that feeling doesn’t have to fade once the ball drops and the confetti clears. I had long held onto the idea that when the clock struck twelve, I would suddenly transform into a newer, different, and somehow better version of myself — that somehow in those sixty seconds between 11:59pm and 12:00am, my entire life would change. The very notion of thinking I needed to become a new and improved version of myself was inherently harmful to my growth and self-worth. Why did I think I needed to become better? Was I not good enough already? It is easy to spend so much of your life consumed by thoughts of the future, planning this “perfect” life you imagine in your head, that you waste your life fantasizing about your life instead of actually living it.
As the brilliant Jenny Slate said in her memoir, and my favorite book of all time, Little Weirds, “The place is here. The time is now. This is all my lifetime.” My life is already happening, right now, and I intend to experience every last moment of it.
My hope with this little blog is to share the bits and pieces of my life that bring me true, unadulterated happiness. From ramblings on the lyrical genius of Taylor Swift, to musings on a sunset that brought me to tears, stick around to see how this year I devour.